The official site is: www.oneswellfoop.com, mirrored at: oneswellfoop.tripod.com. But don't change your bookmarks yet; I'm just testing Freeservers for "Foop-Friendliness"; if they pass, I'll give everyone bookmarking me at Tripe-Odd plenty of time to convert.

In search of the aching, coughing, sore throat, diarrhea, fever, weakness, so you can web surf without getting nauseous medicine...
all in... OneSwellFoop
HOME OF THE OXY2K
The NEW and IMPROVED Foop is Coming: January 1st
 
Monday, December 27, 1999
Who says the Weblog Authors E-Group is a waste of time? (No, I'm NOT going to name URLs)
In a solidly collaborative effort, they've come up with the definitive answer to the question: "What will the next decade be named? (This message and the next four)"

Here's my contribution to the Year End List Sub-Mania of Millennium Mania (Look, I spelled Millennium wright!)
The Top 10 PR Blunders of 1999
Includes two homophobic televangelists, Microsoft, Real Networks, the A.M.A., the L.A. Times and a couple I didn't hear about the first time they were news (thus proving the staying power of bad P.R.).

Wendellsday, December 22, 1999
Last update before Christmas, maybe Y2K, so must acknowledge net neighbors, especially a few I forgot to put on my revised linklist before: You know who you are. (Uh oh, somebody isn't gonna like that)

I should be giving a long incoherant acceptance speech for my 1999 Medley Medal for humor above and beyond the call of comprehension, or I could just do what somebody I can't remember did at the Emmys or the Oscars and hand the award to the person I think should have gotten it: take it away Brad! Your 12 Days of Weblogging (isn't that about the age of the average weblog?) is the final word on self-referencial weblog ratings, lists and meta-whatevers (or should be). Add that to The Turkey-ish Stud, the Web-Based Musicals, the "chalupa" meme and the pricelessly-worded link to Millenilube, and that's five spit-takes in one month, a record unmatched since the first year of daily Simpsons reruns.
Hmmm... "the OXY2K (which name really reminds me of zit medicine, by the way)"... I would have gone for OXY5000, but my legal department advised against it. Thank you anyway, Ms. Medal, but-do-you-really-think-I-overuse-hyphens-that-much?


For the purposes of my own December-related Holiday greeting, I'm going back to something I wrote way back when there was no World Wide Web... (Some content may be best understood if you've ever worked in close proximity to "the purchasing department", as I did for several years)

The Day Before Christmas
a cautionary tale


Twas the Day Before Christmas
And down here at work,
Not a creature was stirring,
Not even a Clerk!

The Big-Wigs were snuggled
Behind their closed doors
While visions of Year-End
They tried to ignore.

And I in my Green eye-shade
And Red power tie
Had just settled down
To put off a deadline,

When all of a sudden,
There arose such a din,
I thought Shipping had collided
With Receiving again.

I ran to the window
That my office lacked,
Past the C.E.O.'s portrait
That covered a crack,

I ran down the hallway
And down the Fire Stairs,
And ran over three smokers
Who did their smoking there.

When what to my overworked
Eyes should appear
But all of the vendors
Who'd bugged us all year!

Past the receptionist
The salesmen they came
Bearing gifts printed
With their companies' name...

On pencils, on ballpoints,
On mugs and on blotters,
On mouse pads, address books,
And pocket protectors,

And all kinds of calendars,
Pocket, desk and wall.
And we put away, stored away,
Filed away it all.

But they soon had to run,
The salesmen gave warning.
They had thirty customers
To call on that morning.

But I heard them exclaim
As they left in a bunch,
"Merry Christmas to All,
And sometime let's do lunch!"


1984-1999 by Wendell Wittler. I'm going to be upset if Hallmark has this next year.

Friday, December 17, 1999
The Personal Web: I heard today for the first time about The Milwaukee Symphony's Tour of Cuba, which wouldn't have been too interesting to me, but, the last time I'd talked to my cousin Patrick (and it's been years - not netyears - YEARS), both he and his wife were members of that orchestra! So, to catch up on a neglected relative, did I do what I've always done in the past, call his parents/my favorite aunt-n-uncle? No, I went to the web, found the orchestra's website and its current roster. Yep, there he is... Librarian? When did he get out of the Percussion section? Why? Am I gonna have to call aunt-n-uncle NOW, or can I just send an e-mail? I don't know about everybody else, but that retiring weblogger was right about me: I am the cowardly type, and I'd rather 'blog and exchange e-mails than talk to people face-to-face, or even on the phone (mobile phone is NOT on MY wish list). My personal goal for 2000: to become a cyber-hermit.

Blog Party!!!
I've been meaning to put in a good word for The Medfly (isn't that a Gadfly who works for a Doctor?) for some time... she's apparently working on a big little change for her 'blog and I can hardly wait until it's un... uh... veiled. All I know is there's a placeholder page for a new site somewhere that's funnier than a lot of active sites...
Ms. Med apparently took some heat for a link called: You Might Be a Republican..., which I thought was rather funny, and reminded me of a slightly more serious thought-provoker I stumbled over in my pre-blog days, something about "How to tell you're no longer a Liberal". As you can guess, I've lost the link, but I remember some of the content (reworded by my quirky memory)...
If you still think Bill Clinton is a Liberal...
If you're starting to think tax incentives work better for corporations than people...
If you consider ABC, NBC and CBS to be Liberal Media...
If you think because you've been robbed, you have to change your opinion on law enforcement issues...
If your new SUV is more than double the size of your old Volvo...
...then you MIGHT no longer be a Liberal.

By the way, L.M., considering the expected champagne consumption around January 1, making that the debut date for your new site name is... have I said too much?
Here's another meme about Y2K that should find its way into a MedRant, or at least get an AMIIS ... It looks like the LAST government operations to be made Y2K-compliant are those serving the poor (the URL is worth a snicker: y2k_the_needy ?)
And, based on my personal idiological belief in trying something new: A different way to punish those who committ heinous acts may be to take away their names. It does remind me of a plot of an episode of The New Twilight Zone titled "To See the Invisible Man" (see episode 16), which was a thought-provoker back in 1986.

A lot of webloggers have sounded off pro or con (more con) about the Amazon.com commercials, but none of them seemed to know that they are spot-on spoofs of an old TV show: the men's chorus, the words transposed at the bottom of the screen, the bleached-but-fuzzy look of prehistoric color TV... it's Sing Along With Mitch! Mitch Miller, that is, a big name in the music biz in the 50s and 60s whose chorus (known as "Mitch Miller and the Gang") had a #1 single of "The Yellow Rose of Texas", who ran Columbia Records, made Frankie Laine and Tony Bennett stars, was acucsed of Payola by Frank Sinatra, hated Rock and Roll and rejected Buddy Holly, spotlighted Leslie Uggams as his sing-along show's almost-only female or black performer, and had the cutest little beard. Now, I can remember Sing Along With Mitch, because I (1) am old and (2) had a father who also hated Rock and Roll, but are these commercials actually targeting consumers who are even older and squarer than ME? Here's ZD's Anchor Desk with a story about how the web HAS caught on with older demographics, and what sites they're frequenting (Amazon's not among them). And here's a survey that shows the only dot-com ads that got recalled by as much as 10 percent of the audience were for... yep, Amazon. Maybe the Amazonians aren't as dumb as their staggering losses make them look.

And, yes, I've done strange things to my linklist...

Wendellsday, December 15, 1999
And now, a new feature of Punchline News,
STUPID HEADLINES ON PARADE The requirements of web news sites are testing the skills of headline writers, and some have been found lacking...
Today's embarassing example comes from APB News: ATF Boss Thinks Rudolph Is Dead
The story is about accused bomber Eric Rudolph, who disappeared into the North Carolina wilderness over a year ago, but I wouldn't want any Santa-believing children to see that headline...

Swell & Swolen
"As a youngster, I didn't realize how many Charlie Browns there were in the world"

It's only appropriate that the Los Angeles Times would put a large picture of Charlie Brown on today's front page (dead tree version). For almost 20 years, Peanuts was featured, not on the comics page, but on either page A3 or A4 of the L.A. paper. Seeking out Snoopy and his friends as a kid helped me to stumble onto some of the REAL news in the paper, though I'm sure that was NOT the reason they did it.
I saw Chuq's picture in Looka! and remembered that I owned an identical Charlie Brown doll - ? - toy - ? - action figure - ? - plastic thingy, and since my balding ex-marine father insisted that I grow up in the '60s with my very blonde hair in a crew cut, I had more than a passing resemblence to the comic's hairless hero. (Too chicken to post a picture myself)
But if Charlie Brown's realities were also mine, Snoopy's daydreams were - and still are - mine too. I still get the uncomfortable feeling that, from that nearly-grownup-free world of Charlie and his neighbors and classmates (how many of them could we really call "friends"?), I got a message about outward acceptance and self-acceptance that, based on the society we have today, most people must have missed. But Snoopy became an insurance salesman, and Charlie Brown grew up to become Calvin's Dad. I still believe the very recent "Don't do anything, and you'll be a good dog" strip was a classic! And I've got to wonder what the new kid profiling software would have thought of Good Ol' Charlie Brown.
And yes, Sparky, I agree, Peanuts was a crummy name they put on your strip, but cartoonists (like Gary Larson, Berke Breathed and Bill Watterson) will always be grateful that you stood your ground to get more rights to your own creative works, so Charlie and Snoopy and Linus and Lucy could retire when you retire.
Still, the simple finality of his retirement announcement concerns me; he apparently won't be doing any more strips beyond what was completed before his hospitalization last month. It doesn't fit well with someone who has been successfully doing what he loved to do for 50 years, and may suggest a worse medical prognosis than has been reported. Still, it's good to have the opportunity to pay tribute to someone like Charles Schulz while he's still around, and when the love and encouragement might do him a lot of good.

There's one aspect of the Millennial changeover that seems to me has NOT been overdone YET, and that is the process of commemmorating the era's LASTS. (I know the subject probably shouldn't be raised until AFTER December 31st, but that's never stopped anybody before) To avoid some of the controversy, I'd call my list "The Last of the 1900's", and I can't think of anyone in the next two weeks who'll beat Charles Schulz for the honor of "The Last Graceful Exit of the 1900's".
I suspect William F. Buckley was actively trying for that honor by retiring his Firing Line TV show. Sorry, Billy, and say hi to your son. (A couple good moments in his appearance on Nightline: Koppel actually asked him what one of the obscure, pretentious, multi-syllabic words Buckley tossed out means, and, at the end, when he asked if he could sum something up in 10 seconds, William F. simply replied: "No.")


Tuesday, December 14, 1999
Blog Party!!! SIGN OF COMING APOCALYPSE #142: Everybody on the web is merging with everybody else on the web.
Theglobe.com (not to be confused with daglobe.com) buys out WebJump (where oneswellfoop.com was parked until a few hours ago).
About.com (not to be confused with whatsitallabout.alfie) buys out Freeservers (where oneswellfoop.com is NOW parked, see above).
And, most traumatically of all, Slashdot and Suck have apparently merged (and I think the combined entity is coming after Salon... or maybe Scalzi...

Anyway, in his comment on this revolting development, NetBuzzCut uses the term "corporate-owned-weblog" and asks if the term is an oxymoron. Of course, it's an oxymoron!!! And so is "professional weblogger", the term I used to describe both you and Dan Gillmor On, but I can't add them to my OXY2K list right now because my oxy-database blowed-up-real-good and I don't have time to fix it, because I'm trying to fix a database at my REAL job that blowed-up-real-good and I hardly have enough time to post a couple funny links to the 'blog though I know everybody's waiting for my next major piece of Foop-ish humor which I have a half-dozen ideas tied to Christmas or New Years but I'm probably not going to get time to do them until AFTER Christmas and New Years and who wants to see the definitive Christmas Carol/Internet bit (think "Scroogedot: News for Ebenezers") in JANUARY!!!!
Am I ranting?!?!? NO, I'M THROWING A HISSY FIT!!!!!

AAAAARRRGGHHH!!!Thanks, Becky . I needed that.

PolyEthel usually makes me feel stoopid by comparison, but when he pointed out that MILLENNIUM is spelled with MORE THAN ONE "N"...
OXY2K: The official unauthorized millenium (with one N) oxymoron list
I felt like my IQ was following the stock price of LAST YEAR'S internet IPOs... Of course, the IQ is one of the most abused numbers around, and, to paraphrase a Dilbert strip from YEARS ago: "The practical applications of intelligence are highly overrated". (Anybody know where I can find the original comic?) But I digress.
I was relieved when I used Sabren's handy-dandy Blogsearch to discover that a dozen other webloggers (who shall remain nameless) had used the wrong spelling recently, while only 19 (who shall remain blameless) had used the correct spelling. And check out the title atop this MSNBC page. So, I'm at least as smart as MSNBC (that's not saying much).

Before I totally give up my facade of functional literacy, I must acknowledge the passing of Joseph Heller, author of Catch-22, who is also credited for identifying "military intelligence" as a "contradiction in terms", years before George Carlin did. But Yossarian lives.

And, against my own better judgement, I'll also note the death of What's Happenin'? co-star Shirley Hemphill, only a month after the show's Mabel King died. I just hope somebody's keeping an eye on Rerun.

OTHER WENDELLS DEPARTMENT
On the bright side, this 96-year old Wendell is not only NOT dead yet, but still enjoying lunch every day. (thanks to the Windowsitter)

And speaking of sandwiches, thanks to the Lookster for a screensaver that's good enough to eat. But one question: does the acronym NOLA refer to N.O., LA., or NO L.A.?

OTHER FOOPS DEPARTMENT Ruh, roh. Annoyingly prolific sci-fi author Piers Anthony has made public that an upcoming volume in his Xanth mega-duo-deca-centr-ilogy (that is, unending series of books) will be titled "Swell Foop". Can he be stopped? Am I going to have to start writing as much as he does to lay prior claim? Excuse me, I have to go pound my head again.


Friday, December 10, 1999
AND, NOW "2 LINES ABOUT 1 WOMAN:"
Happy Birthday, Deborah
You'll always be my only one...


Blog Party!!! WE'RE NUMBER TEN!!! WE'RE NUMBER TEN!!!
Here are some suggested comments for future weeks' listings:
Oxymoron lists are so 1994...
Still auditioning for a listing at the Center for the Easily Amused
Just what the weblog community needs: an aging former disc jockey with a shoebox full of one-liners
Crossing the line between self-effacing humor and masochism

The BLOAT Top 10 is rapidly making itself into the Web's answer to Mr. Blackwell's Worst Dressed List... and you know how sick everyone is of THAT list, and it only comes out once a YEAR! Good luck, Tenpenny. (Any relation to Bond's Miss Moneypenny?)

Thursday, December 9, 1999
Punchline News Topical convergence, Los Angeles style: They removed the last of the sheep from the Channel Islands off the Southern California coast, on the same day that a group of Rams that were also removed from the area proved they are doing well in their new home.

Linkin' Log In the mid-80's, during a semi-professional association with KROQ-FM, I was subjected to the new-wave-white-boy-rap song "88 Lines About 44 Women" in heavy rotation until I, brainwashed, married a Deborah (first name on the list). So I consider myself qualified to reccommend The Brunching Shuttlecocks' 88 Lines About 42 Presidents as the smartest song spoof I've heard or read in a long time. (discovered by PoCuJuM)

JUST WHEN YOU THOUGHT IT AS SAFE TO GO BACK OUT IN THE REAL WORLD, that professional 'blogger, Netbuzz Lightyear, pointed out an essay in Feed about the new social acceptance of TV watching (Feed seems to have lost the page, maybe temporarily, or maybe it was shut down by somebody who feels this is something we aren't meant to know... either way, Buzzy saved an excerpt here). Emboldened by this knowledge, I'm going to blather on about some TV shows I've seen, and some that aren't even on the air yet:

You have to believe that the Fox Network is getting seriously desperate when they make a deal to develop a live-action version of (my all-time favorite superhero spoof) THE TICK. Apparently the producers who are going to try to bring Ben Edlund's collection of grotesque heroes and villians to life are the same ones behind the glorious failure of the New Fantasy Island (despite the objections of Herve Villechaize's ghost it was a very smart show, starting with the opening credits sequence where Malcolm McDowell's Mr. Roarke rejects a closet full of white suits). But bringing the big blue guy to life without looking like Captain Nice may still be technically impossible, ("There Is No SPOON?") or it may turn into "The CG Artists Full Employment Act of 1999". Still, casting such characters as Sewer Urchin and Chairface Chippendale is the fanboy equivalent of Fantasy Football, as demonstrated on AICN's Talkback Board, where there's a lot of support for putting Patrick "Puddy" Warburton (friend of M&Ms everywhere) into the freaky-big blue suit.

Then there's the prospect of ABC bringing The Minister of Silly Walks, John Cleese, to American TV (if not as a performer, at least as producer/creator) in a partnership with Jeff Reno and Ron Osborn, whose team resume' includes Cupid, Duckman and Moonlighting. This show's premise:
The as-yet-untitled sitcom will be set inside the law firm of Karpool, Ruumki & Whetfish. Some of the partners have literally made deals with the devil and have become demons; a few are regular humans who are kept around so the demons can keep tabs on the enemy.
At the center of the action will be a young female lawyer recruited as a demon candidate. The plots will focus on the battle between good and evil for the soul of the newcomer.

In other words, a more realistic version of Ally McBeal

One project you WON'T see is a TV-SF fanboy's dream (at least mine): a collaboration between X-Files' Chris Carter and Babylon 5's J. Michael Strazynsky for CBS. According to JMS's newsgroup posting, a production studio with a name that will become obsolete in three weeks withdrew its support of Carter producing somebody else's idea because that was what happened on Harsh Realm, and that show flopped big time. The Babylon Guy is still shopping around the idea by himself, but it's probably too late to get the still-mysterious show on any network before 2001, thus giving his fans reason to hate Rupert Murdoch as much as they hate Ted Turner.

And, wouldn't it be funny if CBS thought they'd made a development deal with Jonathan "Dr." Katz, but discovered they'd actually signed up Jon "/." Katz instead?
Okay, it wouldn't be funny.

As long as I'm hanging around CBS, did you notice on the network site for the new series Now and Again, there's a place marked with the words: "WARNING: DO NOT CLICK HERE". And when you do click there (I knew you would), you go to a site claiming that the "brain harvesting" at the center of the show's plot has actually been done in real life. When contacted by Reuters, Jack Parmeter, vice president of on-air promotion at CBS, reportedly said "hey, it worked for Blair Witch!"

Swell & Swolen
And the Sunday after Thansgiving will be remembered as the day X-Files truly became Speculative Fiction, as it aired an episode set in the future.... alright, a month in the future. Apparently, the Fox Network (which, remember, doesn't have a very good batting average these days) thought the "Millennium" episode was worth airing during the all-important November Ratings Sweeps, and why was that? Because they thought a lot of people would want to know what happened to Frank Black, the main character of the ultimately-misnamed series Millennium? No, actually, I'd much prefer the ending (still in progress) from the fan-written Virtual Season scripts at the Millennium Compendium site. Or did they think that the story's premise, cutting closer than usual to mainstream Christian mythology, would churn up lots of controversy? The scene with the Necromancer changing clothes with a corpse while muttering a familiar prayer was moderately jolting, but after four years of Touched by an Angel and its "hunky Angel of Death", who cares? No, the Foxes-that-be thought X-Fans would tune in for the scene at the very end when Mulder and Scully finally kiss, a few hesitating beats after the stroke of New Years midnight! And how was it? Well, when Mulder commented that the world had not, in fact, come to an end, I couldn't be sure if he was talking about the Y2K bug or the kiss. What turned out to be the most-noticed moment on the show was this verbal exchange (already quoted by more than one weblogger:
"2001 is actually the start of the new millennium".
"Nobody likes a math nerd, Scully".

But then, the Weblog Nation has a much higher proportion of math nerds than the public at large, and some of us are among the most annoying people in the world (I am NOT naming names). I have to acknowledge that other professional weblogger, Dan Gillmor, for the best argument why some people should consider 2001 the real millennium:
Anyway, since I can't party this time around, I intend to revert to the reality I'd planned to ignore.... I realize that my only chance to do serious millennial celebrating on a New Year's Eve will be on the one that comes next year.

Blog Party!!! Speaking of Gillmor, I've noticed that on the e-mail version of his column, the title is displayed in the usual putting-as-much-emphasis-on-plain-text-as-you-can style of capital letters with spaces inbetween, but no extra spaces between words so it looks like this:
D A N G I L L M O R O N T E C H N O L O G Y
Now, I may have spent too much time on my oxyMORON list, but does that seem to spell out something different?

Well, here's some Dang Ill Moron Technology from Gillmor's publisher: An e-mail sent to subscribers to his column:
Our marketing staff publishes eNews, an online bulletin describing what's new from the Mercury News. If you'd like to receive it, do nothing and we'll automatically e-mail it to you from time to time.
I'm sorry, but the "opt-out" methodology is for book clubs. And didn't Gillmor himself recently do a column attacking AOL's use of "opt-out" for privacy issues?. Well, he cancelled his AOL over it, and I'm cancelling my subscription. Sorry.

Wendellsday, December 8, 1999
MURPHY'S LAW LIBRARY
"Don't do anything I wouldn't do twice." - Thomas Brown IV's Law

Swell & Swolen
The Los Angeles Times published a front-page article about epinions and other similar sites last Friday:
The second most trusted Epinions reviewer is Brent Celmins, a movie buff who goes by the handle "Scorsesian." His thoughtfulness and clarity in 87 reviews seems to rival that of many professional critics. Surprisingly, (my emphasis) Celmins is a 19-year-old USC film school undergrad.
I didn't say it was a good article, but it's nice to see something about the web on the front page that doesn't involve major felonies.

FOOP DISCLOSURE Yes, Virginia, there really is a right sidebar on the Foop page, it just couldn't be seen half the time, due to a dependency on Tripe-Odd technology (another thing I won't do twice). And, yes, Anita, neither your weblog nor journal made the cut, but look on the bright side: when I link to you within my 'blog, it counts the same as a link in the list to Beebo, until it moves to the archive. As for me, I am pleased to see the Foop listed on Metafilter's fun and fabulous floating 'blog list. This is powerful technology... I just hope it doesn't fall into the wrong hands (like MINE).

Monday, December 6, 1999
Swell & Swolen
The Foop's Department of Rants, Raves and Reviews
Must check my calendar. We must be entering the silly season. John Dvorak's feature for Boardwatch consists of two pages ranting against SPAM and a page praising olive oil. (from Robo-Jorn)

I hate to disagree with any of John Scalzi's choices for The Best of the Millenium, but as far as the Best 15 Minutes of Fame are concerned, Monica Lewinsky can't hold a candle (or a cigar - couldn't resist) to Hazel Frederick, the woman caught on film looking at Mary Tyler Moore throwing her hat in the famous TV opening. Now there was someone who really wasn't pursing fame, power, sex or anything; she was just wondering what the hubbub was out in the plaza with the cameras and the woman with the hat. And she didn't even meet her "co-star" until more than 20 years later. But her death (the same day Scalzi immoralized - excuse me - immortalized Monica) made the news. Of course, it was a slow news day, but that pretty much sums up what Hazel Frederick was all about: she was at the right place at the right time.

OXY2K Sigh. Still trying to fix my Credits page, so I think I'd better give some credit here in the 'blog: John G. Robertson "Senior Scribe" has a good educational site with (before I did the OXY2K) the largest list of Oxymorons I could find on the web. Over 1100 oxys, including over 300 that weren't on anybody else's list (I used only half of them in my list; we disagree somewhat on what makes a good oxy).

Linkin' Log So, what does it take for a new website featuring above-average geek humor have to do to get noticed? Well, just like a prime-time TV sitcom, sometimes it helps to do a Very Special Episode. And if you're Benjy Feen, and you're in a Seattle office building in the middle of the WTO Riots, sometimes the Very Special Episode comes to you.
Among Benjy's regular writing, my personal favorite is his analysis of non-linear humor, titled "Putting Underwear on the Dog", which contains some excellent examples (I don't often giggle at my computer), plus literary references to The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, which means a lot to me.

Punchline News So, what have we learned from the events in Seattle?
1: that the WTO stands for "World Tirade Association"
2: you shouldn't be surprised that the police overreacted in the first city where Starbucks replaced all the donut shops
3: "Free trade" is not what happens at Burger King's Pokemon night
4: "Civil disturbance" and "fair trade" belong on the OXY2K
By the way, LARadio.com had some interesting sidelights to the WTO crisis: apparently, one L.A. local talk jockey went to Seattle to do a remote broadcast, just so he could ridicule free-trade opponents wearing Nikes; there was a smattering of signs promoting syndicated schlock talker Tom (Doesn't) Leykis who gets his highest ratings in the NorthWest; and some of L.A.'s top radio talent don't even come in to the studio - they do their shows from their homes, including half of KROQ's morning team, and HE lives in Seattle! (he missed the unrest and tear gas - he was in L.A. last week for contract negotiations)

In other news, the potential loss of the Mars Polar Lander (no relation to David L. Lander) inspired an oxymoronic headline this weekend: Mars Probe Maintains Deafening Silence.

Police Say Dead Man Was Not A Celebrity. I know this story makes L.A.'s police, media and general public sound like heartless jerks, but if you read the whole story, you'll learn that the speculation arose because (1) the LAPD had mobilized a special investigative team that usually only handles "high profile" situations, and (2) the Holiday Inn with the parking lot where the body was found has a very notable long-term resident, whose initials are O.J. So, when you get all the facts, you'll understand that in L.A. we ARE all heartless jerks!

Blog Party!!! I Am Proud to announce that I've finally made the Open Directory's Web Log List, but I've been beaten to the Yahoo List by The Stuffed Dog (a.k.a. Overfed Pitbull) and twernt (a.k.a. twas too!). What I don't understand is how The Scoop Index got on Yahoo. With all our individual and collective desires to quantify everything (not to mention enough ego-driven competitiveness to fuel a college football team in Texas), this seems to be the device that goes just a little bit farther than humanity was meant to go. (In other words, it don't work!) Note that, as of 1:00PM PST, Beebo's Metalog is credited with 4 "scoops", which should not be possible because nothing appears on that list until it's been on at least 4 OTHER 'blogs.

FOOP DISCLOSURE If everything is functioning correctly, you should see one blue 'sidebar' column on the right. If not, please e-mail me, but break it to me gently... As for the content of the sidebar, yes, like many others, I have trimmed down my 'blog list. Some of them were deleted with extreme prejudice, others just accidentally fell off and rolled under the couch. Several just barely missed the cut, but will definately be on my Personal Portal Page fro all to see when I get THAT done. Call it "The Beebo Effect", but it seemed the best way to express my support to them I support the most; also, it helped shrink my slow-loading index page.

   
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