Well, the best laid plans of Wendell Wittler have once again gang aft ugly. My unspoken target date for relaunching the Fooplog and other elements of a new Foopsite WAS March 1st, but life (and the intentions of a surprisingly large number of people in my life with BAD intentions) have intervened and I am sweating out the possibility of MAYBE getting it ready for a semi-premiere by the appropriate date of April 1st. This is NOT a promise. In the meantime, I'll try to jerry-rig an occasional snipet of content in NON-weblog format, like this:
The Top Umpteen Reasons David Letterman MIGHT Jump to ABC
99 To get closer to Oprah.
86 To get closer to Regis.
78 To get closer to Madden.
69 He's been quietly working his way up the alphabet for years.
66 He's going to Disney World!
57 To finally give Donald Duck some Worldwide Pants.
52 Mouse ears cover receding hairline.
45 The only way Paul and the band will ever get the right to play "It's a Small World After All".
42 Day 8000: hasn't Koppel Held America Hostage long enough?
39 With "Cats" closed, needs costumes from Disney's "Lion King" desperately.
36 Drew Carey could be the next Larry "Bud" Melman.
31 Having humiliating crush over "Alias" babe.
29 Extra perk of getting to play "Eeyore" in next Winnie the Pooh Movie.
22 Disney has WAY better dental plan.
17 Ed Sullivan Theater is fine, but always really wanted Cinderella's Castle.
13 Suspects Bryant Gumbel is following him; only way to be sure.
8 Disney HQ in Burbank is across the street from an excellent hospital. (it's true, I spent two weeks last year in a room with a view of the side of the Disney building without stone gargoyles that look like the seven dwarfs)
5 Doesn't want to be on same network with that crybaby Rather.
3 The only way they'll let him use "I'm going to Disney World" in a Top 10 list.
And the number 1 reason is... They've promised him Koppel's hair!
And remember, DO NOT visit oneswellwhatever.com, which has been plucked out from under me by evil pornsquatters.
I am accepting suggestions for a new domain name via this Tripodelicious Message Board:
It's a silly little message board, brought to you by Tom Lycos.
Once again, I return control of the Web to you.
Keep arms, legs and other appendages in the car until it has come to a complete stop.